ENTRIES PROFILE LINKS TAGBOARD MISCELLANEOUS CREDITS

Sunday, August 9, 2009
It isn't fair.

I have known Josh since the day I was born. How many people have friends like that, who they've known literally their entire life? Not everyone. He introduced me to the movie Big Fish, one of my favorites; to cinnamin on popcorn--incidentally, that and Big Fish happened on the same day--and for sixteen years I've known him. We aren't related in any way, but he always called me his cousin. I'd seen him almost every day until two years ago, when he and his family--his mother Robin, father Rob, and sister Becky--moved to New Hampshire. And in those two years I hardly saw him, and then, hardly thought about him. Until yesterday.

Yesterday morning my mother woke my sister and I up at about 7:30. We were moving my sister out to her new house in New Jersey with her sorority sisters that day. My mothr had gotten a call from Robin. Friday night, when Josh was driving home from his job as a cook at a country club, something happened, and he swerved off the road and hit a tree.

Josh died.

He was eighteen.

We don't quite know what happened. The cops apparently found him. They think he'd been speeding--but we don't find that likely. He was, supposedly, a very slow driver, something he'd been teased about. Not that I know this. I don't remember the last time I saw him. The last time I hugged him, or the last time we even spoke. I can hardly fathom that he is gone. He was such a permenant fixture in my life, though I hardly saw him anymore, I always thought he would be there. I've cried quite a bit in the past two days. It isn't fair. It isn't fair that I should be alive and he isn't. It isn't fair that his friends will be starting college in a few weeks and he isn't. It isn't fair that his parents must lose a son and his sister lose a brother. It isn't fair.

So, I won't be around for a while. Tomorrow we are leaving for New Hampshire. On Tuesday there will be a service, to which we've been told to dress in jeans, because that's the way Josh would have wanted us--and he would. I am not ready to see my friend in a casket, but I suppose I'll have to be. I imagine I'll be back sometime Wednesday.

I guess this is my way of telling you, my friends. Forgive me, but it isn't something I would want to bring up over the phone, or in an AIM conversation, or even in person. But don't worry about me--since I've learned the news I've been able to laugh at old movies on TV, and I've been able to semi-cheerfully greet patrons at my job at Friendly's. I will be okay. I will be up and about again for Sarah's party this weekend. I hope to see you guys there.

I just have to remind myself of a part of a song I always really liked, but now have a reason to need it:

"But I know, though the endings are never ever happy, its the happy moments along the way that in the end, make it okay."

I just have to remember the time that Josh and I organized a 'concert' in my driveway that consisted of my bike upside down, us spinning the wheels and dragging a stick through the spokes; I have to remember our many writing attempts, which include a movie called 'Store Wars' in which he and I were agents for Dr. Wal-Mart (played by my sister) who had to defeat the evil Dr. A&P because she (his sister) was hypnotizing customers to only shop at A&P; I have to remember our many sleepovers and camping trips and movies we watched...And in the end, I'll be okay.

I love you all, and I thank God that I have all of you. I miss you very much, and I cannot wait to see you again. Yes, I want school back. I'll admit it. I'm ready. Goodnight, for now.
9:26 PM
Sunday, June 7, 2009
I have joined the workforce!!

And it is a scary place.

Well, no, I suppose it isn't scary, but it is stressful. I was trained as a hostess by this girl my sister told me was flaky and I was under the impression that we would be co-hosting. For about ten minutes she was there helping me, then I saw her sitting at the counter doing nothing, then she disappeared completely. Yay.

People are disgusting! There was this one huge group that had a billion ice creams that had drippy strawberry shit coming down the side and just, ugh. I worked for less than three hours but already I have a deep respect for those in the food service industry. People suck. I'm glad I'm not one of them.

Anyway, after work, my brother, sister, and my bro's two friends took me to see the Hangover. Hilarious! It had Justin Bartha, a personal fave of mine, so I was happy.

So I have to go to work again today...yaaay. My first few days, I have to be there during its busiest time. Oooh Well.
10:39 AM
Saturday, June 6, 2009
...Don't eat me

I'm here. And I'm sorry. I truly am. From today on, I shall post every day!

Like that will come true.

But I will try.

A propos...

School is out. I was exempt from half of my exams, so, that's pretty sweet. It is so weird to think that I'm pretty much a junior by now. Soon I'll be going to college, away from my unnamed bff, my lilly, my k-bizzle, my name-stealing friend, and everyone...Who knows where we'll all go? I don't. It's exciting, going to college--I really can't wait. But these people are too awesome to be without! We'll just have to do our best to see each other as often as possible.

I have a job now. Christ, I have a job! I'm starting today and I'm a little freaked that I'm gonna mess up. I'm working at a Friendly's, as a hostess. You know, that girl at the podium who says "Welcome to Friendly's!" and gets you a table. My mother tells me that I can't mess that up, and that if she thought I would, she wouldn't have let me have the job. So, you know...friends: visit me! Please! I know I live in a town that most of you are far-ish away from, but if you really loved me you would deal with it. :D

My brother graduated from college. He's going to Seattle soon--which is far away. Good news? We'll get to visit him. That means plane ride, the Space Needle, and...Starbucks. Heeeaven! And I'll have visited the west for the first time. Every time I tell someone the farthest west I've ever been is Georgia, they try to correct me by saying, "No, sweetie, that's the farthest south you've been, right?" No, I've been to Florida. Georgia really is the farthest west I've ever been. But not for long, bitches!

I'm thinking about taking singing lessons so that I may bag the role of Mrs. Lovett next year...or at least be the crazy beggar woman. That works too, I just want a role in that! I'm already missing Barnum--which went well, by the way. I have it on dvd now so I can watch whenever I'm feeling nostalgic.

I suppose that's all, my cheeky little muskrats. Until tomorrow!

Oh, and P.S. I looooove Greg Kinnear now.
1:28 PM
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
I Really Need A Paul Rudd

More specifically, I need a Mike. You know, from Friends? I bought Season 9 this weekend and, due to the lovely half-day I got today, I've been watching it. One of the features of Season 9 is the introduction of Paul Rudd before he was anyone besides Phoebe's boyfriend. And I haven't laughed so hard in a while. I don't know what it is. It isn't specifically Mike, maybe, but I think it helps when he's...well, Paul Rudd. The best was the first episode he was in, when he tells Phoebe that he plays the piano. She asks for him to prove it, but there aren't any pianos in the vicinity. So she says that such a thing wouldn't stop a real pianist. And so, Mike proceeds to stand up and mime playing the piano in the most hilarious way: I don't know how to describe it, but I imagine that it is comparable to...Elton John, I think. If you really like Friends then you'd have seen it already and known what I was talking about a long time ago...

Point? I need that guy. The piano is pretty hot, for one thing. But he's very handsome, in just the right way, you know? Like, normal-guy handsome. Like you could actually believe such a guy to, you know, exist. Obviously all other actors/musicians/whatevers that are hot exist, but I think you know what I mean. And he just seems like a really funny, really cool guy. I want a really cool guy! I do. Don't you believe me?

Anyway, my restless raccoons, I now have a second reason to see "I Love You, Man". The first, was, of course, Jason Segel, AKA Marshall from How I Met Your Mother, AKA current actually-currently-on-television-TV Show obsession. But now with this new desire for a Paul Rudd, I can appreciate both leads in the upcoming movie...

Speaking of HIMYM and Friends, and just for the occasion let's bring up Heroes, too, I've come to realize that the same woman who plays the Petrelli brother's mom also plays Ted's mother, and also plays Mike's mother...Does she only know how to be a male character's mother? Ha, just kidding, she's cool. Anyway...

More drama practice tomorrow, plus hanging out time with my BFF, then sleepover with her later this week, then filming our project, and filming Lilly's project, then my cousin's christening, then CCD...Jesus Christ, I'm busy. I hate being busy. Yet I hate having nothing to do...It's a paradox, really. I think. That's what a paradox is, I think. Hopefully. Maybe. No one wants to use words wrong. However I don't feel like checking it out, as I need to shower...The damn day went by too quickly. I can't have singular days like this doing nothing. I need multiple days, I can never accomplish my nothing. At least February break is next week, then we'll be off to New Hampshire, the lovely Shire, indulging in tubing and Peterborough visits...Should be splendid!

My face is itchy.

So to summarize: I <3 Paul Rudd; I need a boyfriend; that lady plays a lot of mothers; I'm far too busy; can't wait for New Hampshire; and my face is itchy.

Any questions?
8:27 PM
Friday, January 30, 2009
You Read My Blog, You Listen To What I Say And You Will Like It

I shall now attempt to shoo away my hiccups by attempting to list every movie I've ever seen IN...Alphabetical order.

13 Going on Thirty, 27 Dresses, 50 First Dates, A Night at the Roxbury, Across The Universe, Along Came Polly, Amadeus, Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy, Armageddon, Big Daddy, Billy Madison, Center Stage, Cheaper By the Dozen, Chicago, Click, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, The Dark Knight, Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story, Doubt, The Devil Wears Prada, Elf, Elizabethtown, Enchanted, The Family Stone, Finding Forrester, Forrest Gump, Four Weddings and a Funeral, Gran Torino, Hairspray (new), Happy Gilmore, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone, Harvey, The Holiday, The Hot Chick, In Her Shoes, It's A Wonderful Life, Juno, Little Nicky, Madagascar, Man of LaMancha, Mamma Mia!, Meet the Parents, Mr. Deeds, Mr. Deeds Goes To Town, Mr. Smith Goes To Washington, My Super Ex-Girlfriend, Napoleon Dynamite, National Treasure, National Treasure: Book of Secrets, Night at the Museum, The Notebook, Notting Hill, Office Space, Pirates Of the Caribbean: At World's End, Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl, Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest, Pretty Woman, The Princess Bride, The Producers (original), The Producers (new), Shrek, Shrek 2, Shrek the 3rd, Sleepy Hollow, Spanglish, Starsky and Hutch, Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby, The Wedding Singer, The Witches of Eastwick, Zoolander

Now that is not nearly it, my pretty unicorns, but I wish to make this post today, so...finish later. In other news, it's freezing in my house. I'm very very tired. I'm watching Monk! And Psych will start soon. I miss How I Met Your Mother...And now to bed.
6:09 PM
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